I will be making a series of posts about the (absence of) customer service in Germany and the scammy little tricks local businesses try to pull if you are lucky enough to reach a representative on the phone.

This post is about my and my husband’s recent experience with POCO.de

So, a few days ago, we ordered a new laundry dryer to replace the old one that finally croaked after serving us faithfully for over 10 years. The dryer we ordered is from a known well-established brand. The device gets delivered on a Monday morning, as planned. We carefully take it out of plastic wrapping and install it in the designated spot. Immediately after turning it on for the first time, it starts making hellish metallic sounds measuring at 90 dB. The user manual instructs one to allow it to “settle” for the first few minutes in case there are rumbling sounds during the first run. We give it time, but no improvement ensues.

Now, the fun part begins. We contact the German customer service line. First, they are friendly and request that we make a sound recording of the demonic noises the device makes, and that we take pictures of the whole device from the front and back. We comply and do as instructed. About 24 hours later, we receive an email saying that “only a technician authorized by the manufacturer” may take a look at the device and repair it.

Perplexed and already getting annoyed (kind of knowing what comes next), we call the customer service line again. A very cold-sounding man answers the call. The moment I mention the issue, he turned dead rude: he already knows what it’s about and has been instructed to do anything he can to strike me down. The gentleman explains to me that, as far as POCO is concerned, the device has already been “reklamiert” (b/c we contacted the service line and sent them those pictures and videos). HOWEVER, it is not part of their policy to …

*drumroll*

… take faulty equipment back from customers!

Uhm… Wut?!

I kind of swallow the lump in my throat and reiterate: “But… The device is broken on arrival. How come you don’t accept returns?”

To which he answers bluntly: “Because that’s how we do it.”

Kudos to me for not losing my cool. I confess that I often do, and then the conversation becomes very unproductive. After having already experienced massive bullshit and Alice-in-Wonderland-court-hearing-style ridiculousness with another German institution earlier in the week, I try my best to stay composed and say in a very calm yet firm voice: “But, in Germany, I have the right to return a product that I didn’t like.”

Once the asshole hears me say these words, his tone immediately changes. From being rude and impudent, he reverts to being formal but very neutral and emotionless. He says he will record my request and immediately forward it to the people in charge of the reclamation department. According to him, someone will now contact me about coming by and picking up the faulty machine.

Moral of the story: (1) do NOT go POCO (2) always mention your rights. Literally, my saying the word “right” immediately subdued the guy and put an end to his rudeness.